I was leaving work when I dropped my favorite fuchsia hair tie. I kept looking for it with no success. Until I walked back a few steps to have a full view of the floor.
That’s what I’ve been needing to do in my life. Stop. Sit back and take a wider look at my life situation.
I’ve been focused on what I needed to do in the future that I always felt unproductive and overwhelmed with my ambitions. When in fact, I’ve been doing so much. I just didn’t realize it. That kept me unmotivated and in a state on confusion.
Torn between being a productive mother fucker and a free-spirited yogi.
Let me just get into this.
Ideas, projects, personal development, dreams, and goals fill my mind, my computer, notebook, and phone with to-do lists.
It seems like the harder I try to organize them, the harder it gets to keep track of them. I'm changing or perhaps growing, who knows. But I know that it's happening fast. Faster than I can keep up with. Then there's life getting in the way and delaying my dreams and teaching me how to be patient.
Good things take time. I remind myself.
For some reason, I set a high standard for myself. I just want to see improvement. I have a longing to improve my life and the lives of those around me. And of course, mother earth. I think I love her the most.
I'm easily motivated. Easily inspired. Ever since I was a kid. Let me give you an example. When I was little, if I watched a movie about say, a dancer or an artist, the same day I'd go and try to improve these skills. Now you're probably thinking that this motivation dies quickly. But in most cases, it doesn't. Leaving me with a full plate that's crowding my mind.
Simply put, I want it all. I want to excel in everything. Yoga, dance, writing, art, photography, filming, cooking, Spanish, Arabic, eco-friendly living, creating my own products, composting, growing my own plants, and oh the list goes on.
Ugh. Just writing all of these down made me realize how crazy I am for expecting myself to be skilled in all of these in a short time.
But is it crazy?
Recently I've been trying to figure out ways to deal with this high ambition in a healthy way. So I've been reading and talking to friends about this.
I've realized that number one, I'm not the only one. Number two, there are ways to make this better. I've struggled for so long with this situation and mental trap, but there's a way out. A way to do it all without going crazy or living in anguish as you try to pursue your endless dreams.
It all starts with self-love.
I should. I should. I should. And I shouldn't.
Some of us are living in the future. Living in anxiety of what they should be accomplishing. Forgetting about all the amazing things they've already done. You're alive!! Isn't that good enough?
If it is, then congratulations. You're enlightened. But for the rest of us, we have this need to evolve and leave our mark. So how can we do it all sanely?
1. Stay organized and track your progress. "If You Can't Measure It, You Can't Manage It"
Well, we can't measure everything. But we can certainly track everything. I find that using a calendar to plan out the recipes, videos I want to do in a certain week helps in not overcrowding my days with projects that are impossible to do all in one day!
2. Keep a "done" list
I got this one from Grammarly's blog. It's a great way to acknowledge your accomplishments, giving you a sense of success which in return motivates you to do more.
This one is the hardest one to do. But it pays off the most. Work hard. Play hard. Just don't mix the two together.
I used to be constantly working without really working. Taking a break and working at the same time. Huh? Explanation: writing a paper while checking snapchat? Checking emails before going to bed? Yeah. It leaves you drained.
We do this to combat the guilt we feel when you don't get the work done. The reality is that it's counter-productive. Separate the two and don't let guilt be your motivation. Work because you want to make a change. Work because you want to feel better by being productive.
4. Ask for help. Let others do some of the work. It's okay.
Find your true motivation. Keep the big picture in mind. Love yourself. Love others.