A Year
It's been about a year since I published this website. A year is both a very long time and a short time. Depends on how you look at it.
This time last year, I had no idea that I'd be working at a gym, certified in CrossFit, Zumba, PT, and plant-based nutrition. I never thought that yoga would be my everyday choice of activity instead of lifting. Even though this time last year, I have been a vegetarian for four years; I never thought that I'd go vegan and be this convinced about it. I never thought that I'd meet this many amazing people and connect with a diverse group of interesting souls. I never thought that I'd have two jobs in addition to Sukkari, and thrive on this busy lifestyle. I never thought this many would read my blog.
I've gotten outside of my comfort zone and challenged myself many times. I've experienced so much during this one year. Yet, I can't help but feel like a failure. Ever since I remember being alive, I've always struggled with my high ambition. I wanted to do everything. I've always wanted to be good at everything. Easily inspired and easily motivated.
Yes, most of the time I feel proud of myself, but then I feel like I could be doing more. I could be reading more books, learning more, practicing yoga more, dancing more, writing more, traveling more, drawing more, creating more, and the list keeps going on.
I always blame myself or my fear for not accomplishing as much as I plan on. Now it's time to stop doing that and it's time to realize that good things take time to happen. I just need to let things unfold by themselves. It's good to set goals and have dreams; at the same time that could destroy the joy of life. Make you forget to live in the moment and not even enjoy your achievements in the future because you've set high expectations. Being attached to your dreams and goals to a point that you lose yourself and what really matters can lead you to waste your time chasing something that might never happen. Not in a bad way, but sometimes things don't happen because there's something better in store for us.
I usually don't feel comfortable sharing something this personal, but I just wanted to share this perhaps someone else struggles with the same issue would resonate with this.