If you could start over, what would you choose to be? This is my favorite question to ask people. Probably because I have a million answer to it. I guess we like to ask the questions we want to answer.
It's a little past midnight. I hear thunder, something I rarely hear here in the desert. The sound is comforting for some reason; it makes no sense. I'm in bed with the laptop on my left thigh, angled awkwardly. It's a perfect position though (that's what she said, I know). I'm usually asleep by this time, but let's just say that today was not a typical day and now I'm filled with a lot of words. I know that if I close this laptop and turn off the light, I'd pass out right away. I've gotten pretty good at making myself go to sleep, but I want to write this before I go. Mainly because I won't feel the same way when I wake up. Heck, I might not feel the same in a few minutes and then these thoughts might leave my mind.
I'm in a position where I can't predict my future whatsoever. I've been in this stage for a while now. As a result, I think about the future often. I must say that I also got pretty good at being in the moment and letting go. I'm still the planner I've always been, but now I know that things will fall into place when the time is right. I'll do my best then accept the results knowing it's the best outcome.
It depresses me to think this way, but I find myself wondering what I would be if I had the choice because I'm frequently wishing I got into a different career. Something more creative and less well, boring. I'm proud that I got a degree in Finance, except that it's so fucking lifeless. So in another life, I would be
A trip leader. (yes this exists)
A vegan activist
Maybe it's not too late.